flowers and thoughts

On the days when I can escape my office for a lunch break, I often like to sit underneath this one tree in the park.

It's gigantic (and probably very old and has seen a lot in its long tree life) and makes for a lot of nice shade on the hottest days. And I like to sit underneath it when I eat my lunch because it's so big that I can pretend that I haven't spent the majority of the last three months in a cubicle instead of in the water, on the grass, in the sunshine, and the like.

I've just recently noticed that this tree has flowers growing in it. A lot of white, tiny flowers growing up and down the branches, winding between the roots, blooming on top of one another. I only know this because a lot of these flowers have been falling off this tree lately and landing on my head. And on my body. I think that it has something to do with the combination of windy days and the fact that the flowers aren't much bigger than dimes. 

Anyway, they've been breaking off from the tree at a surprisingly rapid rate. The first time it happened, I reacted in the way that any normal person would ("What the hell just landed on my head?!") and then I got annoyed, because it kept happening over. and over. and over. It was one of those minor annoyances that can be enough to put you in a bad mood if you're already having a bad day.

But this afternoon, I was eating lunch under that ancient tree yet again. And those small flowers did their little falling dance and landed in a pile on my lap. And maybe it was because I was reading a particularly inspiring book, or that I've just actively tried to be more optimistic lately - but my mindset towards these flowers suddenly shifted. They are such small things - barely fragrant, so paper thin and so white that they're nearly translucent...they're hardly even real.

So I took one of the delicate petals in my hand and rubbed it between my fingers. And I just thought...how can I be so annoyed with this unassuming little flower bud? Why waste energy on something that's so ultimately harmless and inconsequential? And then that got me thinking...maybe I shouldn't get annoyed (or impatient or frustrated or sad) about other things that I make out to be big problems, but are actually very minor issues.

And I realized that in order to preserve your sanity and your mind and your heart, you have to be able to distinguish real problems from imagined ones. I recognize that sometimes it is worth it to invest your time and emotions into something that's important and that you believe will have a serious effect on your life in the long haul. But more often than not (at least for me), many of my supposed issues actually have thin white petals that let the sunlight pass through, if I just take a second glance at what's in my lap.

I can learn to live with these little white flowers. I can even appreciate them for their simplicity and insignificance - how important they are for being so unimportant. and that can be enough for me. really, it just has to be enough.

scribbles

Like so many things in life, I think that a great day is like a necklace strung together by little moments (made of pearls, or wooden balls, or Mardi Gras-esque beads, whatever helps you to visualize it). This past weekend was undoubtedly one of the most eventful weekends I've had all summer - perhaps even all year. Last night, I hastily scribbled down everything that I could remember about the past few days so I wouldn't forget anything.

And wouldn't you know, when I pulled out the note today, it was pretty much a list of little moments that made me smile. I could recount everything that happened, but I'd rather let you fill in the blanks as you wish.

if D.C. was a person, I would be engaged to them by now.

life lists part one

five confessions:
1. I think I accidentally ate red meat last weekend (after swearing off it in May - maybe I'll do a more comprehensive post on this later). To be fair, they told me it was a turkey sandwich. Therefore, I should be pardoned.

2. Apparently the DC Metro is "permitting" passengers to drink water on the trains this week because of our hot hot hot heat wave, but...I mean...I've been chugging water down there this whole summer...I don't tolerate temperatures above 80 very well.
3. I couldn't remember what day it was when I was showering this morning, and I seriously had to think about it for a while.
4. I also forgot the password to this blog for a good 24 hours.
5. I'm writing more again. Not just for these blog posts, but in general. It's such good therapy.

five favorite feelings as of late:
1. When the subway pulls into the station and the whole platform gets really windy for a few seconds.
2. When you're about to do something productive like clean your kitchen or wash your sheets, but then spontaneous plans come up and you decide that maybe you can procrastinate your chores for one more day.
3. When you FaceTime with your parents and they put your cat on video (that happened):

4. When you realize that letting go of something that's bothering you isn't simply an act of conceding or accepting that it doesn't matter, but rather an act of acknowledging that you won't let it control your life (thanks to this article from my favorite website, Thought Catalog)
5. Getting free things in the mail. Like a ton of coupons for Slurpees from 7-Eleven. Amazing what you can get when you complain on Twitter (that's meee!)

snippets

Taken minutes before kayaking on the Potomac River. I didn't realize that maneuvering a kayak is a legitimate workout (at least for me. thank you, non-existent upper body strength), but I still had a great time on the water. 

This is from the history of handwriting exhibit at the National Portrait Gallery (which I HIGHLY recommend going to if you're ever in DC - the captions and stories behind the portraits are as interesting as the pictures themselves). I've developed a new interest in font design, so this exhibit was particularly cool for me. People's handwriting styles are like snowflakes - no two are exactly the same. They provide an unexpectedly intimate glance into a life...

you say it's your birthday...

Oh, boy. I've done that thing that people do when they get busy living and accidentally (to be honest, also kind of deliberately) forget to blog about it. I don't want to become that person - the one who is so excited to FINALLY start a blog - and updates it like every other day. Then, every other day soon becomes once a week, once a week becomes once a month, and then you're really just kidding yourself after that.

I've really gotten into a rhythm here with my internship and other plans interspersed in what remains of my free time. I suppose the most noteworthy thing that has happened recently was my birthday! It was last Wednesday. I'll be honest - I've never been a big birthday person. And I worked until 6, so my birthday didn't really feel like a special day carved out for my benefit.

However, I rue the day that I ever turn down a cupcake. This one is brought to you by my sweet co-workers via Crumbs.

Yum.

After work, I went out for happy hour and sushi with some old and new friends. And later, went to a bar in Dupont Circle. Overall, it was a pretty good birthday for being in a new city and not knowing many people. I had no expectations for the day's events, which is probably another reason that it went well. (Isn't that always how it goes? The nights for which you meticulously dictate every detail end up being just okay or even a real disappointment, but the plans that spring up out of nowhere are usually the ones you remember months and years later.)

(Birthday package from the family)

(I bought myself a new little dress because Nordstrom Rack)

(this photograph is fairly self-explanatory. Braving the masses on National Mall to see the fireworks display was so worth it for the views we got.)